I'm going to cry! I have been spell free for a few days now. No dizzyness or shaking and all was well. Then when I sit down to write an essay on the Basics of Wicca for my site I start shaking. I get about two paragraphs done and when I start the third one my hand starts shaking and quickly spreads to my back and other arm. Now I'm shaking uncontrolably and I can't write.
I love the feel of a pen in my hand. I love writing by hand first and then putting it up on the computer. Writing and editing on paper is all apart of the writing process for me.
I was hoping that I could get at least one essay done today. I may still be able to if I can stop shaking. But so far no good. I tried putting up a video of my shaking hand but my cheap ass web hosting service doesn't have the bandwith for it. So oh well. I thought it might be a little interesting if you could see what I'm talking about.
First the shaking begins and then pain follows with the shakes. My hands are killing me. Isn't this suppose to be for old ladies or something? I have been to countless doctors and none of the bastards can tell me anything.
I'm 18 years old and I feel as if I'm 155 years old. It isn't suppose to be this way. Its one of the reasons I don't go out much. I'm scared that I'll get hit by one of my spells and I'll start shaking and people will stare at me. Usually I can try and control it so they aren't that noticable but sometimes I can't.
I'll end up crying today I just know it. I wanted so much to write this essay and get that site finished today. Why is this happening? I love writing.... and now I can't write without a stupid keyboard anymore. I just want to be able to pick up a pen and to write for hours like I used to.
This sucks. Plain and simple.
Cheer me up read the entry before this one and leave me your notes telling me what you think so far I've gotten zilch feed back. Thanks much I'm going to lay down and see if I can't stop shaking.

Old Tears + New Fears = Lolita