Okay so what is up with strange guys IMing me today? So Guy Number One was an okay guy. I had actually spoken to him before on an old screen name and I guess he some how found me on my new one. So thats cool. He is an okay guy and I don't mind chatting with him.
Guy Number 2 or AOL guy that I wrote about a few entries back I think. Anyway he IMs and bugs me yet AGAIN that we need to meet. I once again explained nicely to him that I don't know him and that I have no desire to meet somebody off the net I don't know. He then said he wasn't a weirdo and all this other stuff and finally when I got it through that I was NOT going to meet him he left me alone. Guy number 3 wanted to know about my name. Apparently my name being Lolita means I must be in some way similar to the chick in the movie or book or in all those pornos. Oh come on you know you've had to at least heard of the lolita pornos. Well NO I am in no way like that. He assumed that people bug me about my name or don't believe it is really Lolita. I told him while it isn't my real name it is just an online alias nobody has ever questioned it or assumed anything about me that I know of. He then stoped talking. Guy number 4 was just looking for a girl in his area to hook up with. I told him I was in a small town outside of hallsville and he said ok thanks and bye. Hmmm ya okay whatever you shouldn't waste my time with shit like that.

I enjoy talking to people and meeting new people but NOT if they just want to have cybersex or ask perverted questions or try and get me to meet them so they can try and talk me into have sex with them or rape me or something horrible like that.

I've tried the whole online dating scene and it isn't that great. The guys I ended up with were clingy controling bastards that ended up screwing me up emotionaly and mentally. I do NOT want to go there again.

So guys I don't mind chatting with you and possiblely becoming a friend. I will not cyber with you, I will not send you naked/topless pictures, I will not tell you the size of my breasts or describe any other part of my body to you so you can jerk off to a mental image of it. Grow up you silly little boys and come out of that air deprived bubble you are suffacting in and become a REAL MAN! I am so sick of all you jerks.

Okay that rant over with on with other stuff. We rented some movies tonight. I choose Anacandas, My mom chose, Ladder 49, and Cellular, and my dad chose Garfield and The Village.

Anacandas was great! I love horror movies and was going to watch it again tonight when it was all dark but I'm too tired at the moment. So glad the monkey made it through the movie alive!! GO MONKEY!!
Garfield sucked! I left the room 10 minutes into the movie. Not sure if my parents actually finished watching it either.
Ladder 49 lost my attention within 5 minutes and was putting me to sleep within 10 so I left.
Cellular was a good movie. I liked it. I thought that one cop guy would die but I was glad he didn't.

We haven't watched The Village yet but I've already seen it. It was okay. It was my first date with Joe so I have mixed emotions and memories with that movie. It was predictable and not scary at all. I totally called the "shocking ending" the critics raved about. I never seem to agree with critics. I find their reviews way too overrated.

So I guess tommorow I'll watch The Village again since they will bug me and probably wake me up to do so.

My fan in my room is breaking. Okay its been breaking for awhile now. So tommorow I'm going to ask my grandmother if I can borrow hers. By the way this is the type of fan that stands up. Anyway she isn't using it since she is in the Nursing Home for rehab and I can't sleep well with my fan out of wack because its too hot. I get nightmares when I'm sleeping in a hot room. I like my room cold so I can cuddle under my blanket and get all warm hehe.

My mom got pissed at me because I asked her to leave my room early this morning. She's over it now though. She came in and just laid in my bed and was bugging me. I can't stand people just barging into my room or laying in my bed. Thats my bed! Don't lay down without my permission. How rude?! So instead of snaping like I wanted to I calmly took a breathe and put up with it for as long as I could but I was begining to twitch and finally asked her to leave very nicely. She got all offended and didn't speak to me for a good 4 hours. Those were the most peaceful 4 hours I've ever had. Isn't that awful?

Yep living at home sucks. Gods I hope I can get motivated to find another job soon. I'm tired of just complaining about it. I am kinda glad I'm not working where I was working at anymore. I hated working there. It was annoying as hell. I may do an entry about that hell hole later.

So This Girl pointed out that she had made comments in my guestbook answering my question about which image people liked best yet I then complained nobody had. This is because Bravenet though suppose to has not sent me ANY emails saying I had any messages there. So I assumed I didn't. Well you know what they say about assuming...

So anyway I took down the guestbook because bravenet wouldn't work with me and fix the problem. I also fixed the Explanation link which she also pointed out was broken. Its all better now. Thanks again to her and a big hug.

I want to say sorry to anybody who left a message and I didn't get it or reply to it. I'm really sorry. I went through and tried to see if there were any I needed to reply too but the guestbook kept freezing my computer everytime I went in. So sorry I didn't get to read any comments made there. Note to self never use bravenet again. Though free not so great...

This Charming Gentleman who is one of the few men left who DOESN'T annoy me bought me a club pogo gift subscription for 1yr. wow long link isn't it? hehe Anyway so stop by and read his site its really quite good.

Allright rant time. Yep its a two in one deal lucky lucky you! If you do drugs or feel doing drugs is A-Okay then don't read this. It'll only prompt you to leave me hatefull notes and then I'll just leave you hatefull ones back and well thats more trouble then its worth now isn't it? So just say bye bye now if you do drugs or okay with them and read another diary. You read this part at YOUR OWN damn risk!

Now I have an agreement with my friends that do drugs. They know I do NOT like drugs. I won't date anybody who does them but I won't lecture my friends on them so long as they don't talk about them in front of me or tell me all their drug stories.

I lost 3 different friends at 3 different points in my life to drugs. 1 was to pot and just pot so don't give me that bullshit about it being safe. The second one was lost because some idiot put some kind of drug in her drink and she had a reaction to it and died. The 3 isn't dead that I know of but drugs ruined our friendship. She was my best friend in the world and drugs turned her into a mean hatefull person. She lied to me and became really stupid, petty, and cruel. We finally went our seperate ways when I couldn't take it anymore. But again thats a story that deserves a whole entry to itself.

So you can see why I don't like drugs. But even though I don't like drugs and don't approve of anybody using them I tell my friends that do them that we can still be friends so long as they don't talk to me about it unless they need support quiting and to not wave it in my face and I won't lecture them. I won't lecture anybody about drugs unless they bring it up.

Well I have this friend we'll call Mr. Idiot and he couldn't help but tell me this great story about how he got high at some party drove home got in a wreck and was arrested and the whole time he was laughing about it.

Want to know what happened to the people in the other car? He walked away with just a few scratches. The two people in the other car are in the hospital. They won't die but its still pretty bad.

They released him on bail or something and he calls me up and tells me all this and the whole time he is laughing and thinking its all a great adventure!

I then told him off and we got into a huge fight. I told him not to call me anymore because I don't want to deal with his selfish ass anymore.

That annoys the hell out of me that somebody can be so.... urrrgh is there really enough words to describe the horridness of it all?

I hate drugs. They have ruined friendships, relationships, and killed people near to me. I don't see why people need them. A lot of my friends say so they can feel good. Only once that high wears off they feel awful and are usually wanting to die which in turns leads them to try and get high again. When one drug stops working they amp up the dose or try another one or start mixing drugs just so they can get that good feeling about themselves and the world again.

Drugs are for cowards. I'm sorry if that may offend you but its the truth. You can't deal with how you really feel or whats really going on in your life so you turn to something to try and block it all out. Wimps the whole lot of you. You say "its my life and my health I'll do what I want to it" but it can hurt other people not just you. You know it you just won't admit it. Know why? Because you're a coward. Yup thats exactly why. You make up excuses and have to try and justify it when truthfully you know its a bunch of bullshit and youre really trying to convience yourself and not people like me. So give it up already. Admit youre a coward and start facing the world like the rest of us.

Thats why I refuse to date somebody on drugs. Even if they occasionaly use. Even if its only pot. The answer is NO. I will NOT date you. I won't even discuss it. I refuse to fall in love and let somebody into my heart and let them mean a lot to me and grow attatched to them only to have them torn away from me and break my heart. Never again! Never again...

Old Tears + New Fears = Lolita